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The Narcissist Hoovering You Back In – How to Resist

  • Writer: Michael Capleone, Sr.
    Michael Capleone, Sr.
  • 3 days ago
  • 1 min read

You’re doing your best to move on from a toxic or narcissistic ex—and suddenly, they text. They miss you. They want to talk. They say they’ve changed.


That’s not growth. That’s Hoovering.

Narcissistic Hoovering is when an ex tries to suck you back into the same toxic cycle—often right as you start gaining distance and clarity. It can look like love bombing, guilt-tripping, or even fake emergencies.


Why does it work? Because trauma bonds are powerful. They rewire your brain to crave the very person who hurt you. But falling back in only restarts the pain. If you’re co-parenting, Hoovering often shows up in messages about “doing it for the kids.” But emotional manipulation—no matter how subtle—must be recognized and resisted. Ready to break free for good? Download my Guide on how to handle this situation!




Legal Disclaimer: This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Reading this post does not create an attorney-client relationship. Every case is unique—please consult with a qualified family law attorney licensed in your jurisdiction to discuss your specific situation. Also, this  blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, financial, psychological, or professional advice. It does not create an attorney-client relationship or any other professional-client relationship. The information provided is not a substitute for consultation with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, tax professional, psychologist, or other expert regarding your specific situation.


Man in a striped tie and sunglasses stands outside a building, holding a jacket and briefcase. Reflective glass doors and warning sign behind.
Attorney Michael Capleone



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