He Undermines My Parenting in Front of the Kids – What Can I Do?

It starts with little things: your ex lets your child break the rules you just set, mocks your decisions, or reverses your discipline in front of them. But soon, it escalates. Your child starts saying, “Daddy says your rules are dumb,” or “Mom said you’re just being mean.”

This kind of undermining behavior can erode your authority, confuse your child, and set the stage for long-term emotional harm. It’s not just bad parenting—it’s a form of parental sabotage.

In high-conflict co-parenting situations, it’s crucial to take this seriously. Undermining your authority isn't just disrespectful—it can destabilize your home and lead to long-term damage in your parent-child relationship.

So what can you do? First, document everything. Keep a log of incidents and how your child responds. Use calm, consistent language at home to reinforce your rules. Avoid reacting emotionally or speaking badly about the other parent.

When possible, shift communication to writing—and consider involving a therapist or attorney if it escalates. In some cases, this behavior may qualify as parental alienation and could justify a custody modification.

Want to protect your role and respond the right way? You’ll get step-by-step legal and emotional strategies, including documentation tips, communication scripts, and more.

Get the guide and take back control of your parenting!

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Attorney Michael Capleone