Moving On After a Narcissist—Avoiding Hoovering and Maintaining No Contact

Introduction

You escaped his cheating and gaslighting, but he’s still pulling: late-night texts, guilt trips, declarations of love. This isn’t love—it’s “hoovering”—a suction tactic used by narcissists to reel victims back in. If you don’t know the warning signs and maintain firm boundaries, his tactics can drag you back into chaos.

What Is Hoovering?

Named for its vacuum-like pull, hoovering includes attempts to suck you back into the relationship:

• “I can’t sleep without you”

• “I’ve changed—just one last try.”

• Sudden affection, apologies, or promises

• Using memories to guilt you

• New declarations of love that trigger compassion

These phrases are meant to disarm and destabilize the no-contact wall you’re building.

Why Hoovering Works

• It sets emotional traps through novelty and nostalgia

• It breaks momentum in your healing by arresting your forward motion

• Increased contact may reset trauma-bond loops

• It feeds on your desire for closure, love, or revenge

Signs You’re Being Hoovered

• He texts after midnight or out of the blue

• He constantly references past nostalgia

• He calls with emotional urgency

• He uses guilt: “You owe me closure.”

• He shows new traits—suddenly attentive or charming

Why No Contact Matters

• Contact rewrites the “I can’t live without him” script

• It stops new gaslighting or love bombing

• It helps your nervous system reset and recover

How to Maintain No Contact

1. Block him on all platforms—phone, email, social media.

2. Delete old messages so you’re not tempted to re-read them.

3. Replace digital spaces with support—forums, therapy groups.

4. Tell your supports the rule: “No discussion about him.”

5. Fill your time with new routines—exercise, friends, hobbies.

When He Tries to Hoover You Back

• Ignore sudden apologies or confessions

• Don’t respond to late-night outreach

• Remember why you left—refer to reasons in your journal

• Ground yourself in the reality he avoided accountability

Practical Healing Steps

• Reconnect with yourself: meditation, walks, journaling

• Rediscover your independence: plan trips, try new classes

• Build a healing team: counselors, family, friends

• Remove reminders: photos, letters, items that trigger nostalgia

Final Thoughts

Ending no contact doesn’t mean you’re healed—it means your process resumes on your terms. Each day you resist hoovering, you reinforce your healing, your dignity, and your autonomy.

You're not alone—and you're not powerless. These simple, but informative and powerful guides that are strategic, legal, and provide sharp emotional tools that work. These guides are inexpensive, give you valuable knowledge, and peace of mind in addressing the issue you’re facing at a fraction of what it would cost to receive this same information from an in-person consultation with a professional.    

Get this powerful Guide here!

• He Cheated and Now He’s Trying to Gaslight Me Into Staying

Need more step-by-step legal and emotional strategies? Download these focused guides:

• Narcissist Hoovering: What It Is and How to Shut It Down

• The Narcissist Hoovering You Back In – How to Resist Without Falling Apart

• How to Heal After a Relationship with a Narcissist

• Why You Feel Crazy After a Narcissistic Relationship – And How to Regain Control

• Why You Still Miss a Narcissist Who Destroyed You

• How Do I Date Again After Divorcing a Narcissist?

• How to Stay No Contact When You Still Crave Closure

Visit the website to explore resources: https://attorneymlc2003.wixsite.com/website.

About Michael Capleone, Attorney at Law

Michael Capleone is a seasoned family law attorney based in Hoover, Alabama, with over 22+ years of experience helping clients navigate complex legal challenges, including divorce, child custody, parental rights, grandparent’s rights, military divorces, petition for protection from abuse, CPS and DHR matters, father’s rights, mother’s rights, relationship advice, pets/ animal custody when a relationship or marriage ends, and general family law matters, co-parenting, dealing with a narcissist, emotional recovery, and much more! As a licensed practicing attorney since 2003, is a dedicated advocate for his clients, Michael understands the emotional and legal complexities of family law cases and works tirelessly to secure favorable outcomes in his law practice.

Whether you’re dealing with high-conflict custody battles, seeking modifications to child support or visitation, or facing difficult divorce proceedings, having problems with a toxic ex, trying to co-parent with a narcissist. Michael Capleone provides expert legal tips and topic specific information with wisdom and clarity. He is committed to ensuring that his clients’ rights are protected, and their voices are heard in the courtroom. These blogs and guides that he is creating are meant to provide simple, straightforward, helpful, and powerful practical information for people all across the United States of America and beyond. 

These guides are written in a brief and concise way to get you powerful and useful information that you can easily print off in a reasonable small number of pages. Each guide is a concentrated, no-fluff resource — around 4-5 pages packed with professional insight, legal strategy, and emotional survival tactics. They are designed to cover the real pain points people face in courtrooms and custody fights: defending yourself against false accusations, exposing manipulation without looking petty, protecting your financial future, and keeping your relationship with your children strong in the middle of conflict.

For less than the cost of a single attorney consultation, you get targeted strategies built from over 22+ years of real-world family law experience. These aren’t generic blog articles or cookie-cutter templates. Every guide is designed to give you immediate, actionable steps — the same strategies I teach my own clients — adapted for real people dealing with real, high-stakes problems.

If you're serious about defending your rights, protecting your children, and staying one step ahead of a manipulative ex, these guides aren't just helpful — they're essential. They will save you time, reduce your stress, and help you make smarter moves when everything is on the line.

Winning in court isn’t just about having evidence. It’s about understanding the psychology, the patterns, and the legal strategies that judges actually respond to. These guides put that power in your hands. If you’re ready to stop reacting and start taking control, you’re exactly where you need to be!

For more information on Michael Capleone’s legal services or to schedule a consultation. An experienced Hoover, Alabama family law attorney that guides clients through legal strategy, emotional challenges, relationship problems, legal matters and more to achieve the best positive outcomes. Note: Licensed in the State of Alabama only. 

This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Reading this post does not create an attorney-client relationship. Every case is unique—please consult with a qualified family law attorney licensed in your jurisdiction to discuss your specific situation. Also, this  blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, financial, psychological, or professional advice. It does not create an attorney-client relationship or any other professional-client relationship. The information provided is not a substitute for consultation with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, tax professional, psychologist, or other expert regarding your specific situation.

Attorney Michael Capleone