How a Narcissist Responds When They Lose Control Over You
- Michael Capleone, Sr.
- 2 days ago
- 5 min read
What Is a Narcissist—and Why Are They So Dangerous in Relationships?
A narcissist is someone with a deep need for admiration, a grandiose sense of self-importance, and little to no genuine empathy for others. Narcissism exists on a spectrum, but at its most harmful levels—often diagnosed as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)—it becomes a pattern of manipulation, emotional abuse, and control.
What makes narcissists so dangerous in relationships isn't just what they do—it's how they make you feel. They don’t see partners as equals. They see them as tools to extract validation, resources, admiration, or control. This turns relationships into emotional battlefields where the narcissist always has to win.
At first, they may appear magnetic—charming, confident, and even deeply attentive. But once they feel secure in your emotional investment, they shift. The compliments turn into criticism. The attention becomes controlled. And the love you thought you had becomes a weapon they use against you.
Some of the most common tactics narcissists use include:
Gaslighting: Making you question your memory or reality
Devaluation: Idealizing you early, then cutting you down without reason
Blame-shifting: Making every conflict your fault
Silent treatment: Withdrawing affection as punishment
Future faking: Promising things they never intend to deliver
Over time, these behaviors form a trauma bond, where your mind becomes addicted to the cycle of hope and harm. Escaping that cycle often feels harder than staying—even when you know it’s destroying your self-worth.
Recognizing the threat early is vital. Narcissists don’t change because they don’t believe they need to. Protecting your peace starts with clear boundaries, education, and, when necessary, legal action.
You are not crazy. You are not weak. You're just unhooking from someone who made it their mission to blur the truth. When a narcissist feels their control over you slipping, they panic—not because they love you, but because they’re losing their supply. Their response can range from subtle manipulation to outright character assassination.
1. Love Bombing and Hoovering
They may suddenly flood you with affection, apologies, or even promises of therapy. This is strategic, not sincere. It’s an attempt to reel you back in.
2. Smear Campaigns
If you stay strong, they pivot to destroy your reputation. They tell others you’re unstable, abusive, or cruel. This isolates you from your support system.
3. Flying Monkeys
They recruit mutual friends or family to guilt-trip you back into the relationship or shame you for setting boundaries.
4. Legal Manipulation or Financial Sabotage
In high-conflict breakups or divorces, narcissists often use the court system to maintain control. This includes dragging out custody battles or hiding assets.
Why You Still Miss Them
The absence of chaos can feel unfamiliar. You’re detoxing from adrenaline, fear, and manipulation. But that void is freedom, not loneliness. Reclaiming your control will trigger their worst behavior. Stay the course. Every boundary you hold builds emotional muscle.
You're not alone—and you're not powerless. These simple, but informative and powerful guides that are strategic, legal, and provide sharp emotional tools that work. These guides are inexpensive, give you valuable knowledge, and peace of mind in addressing the issue you’re facing at a fraction of what it would cost to receive this same information from an in-person consultation with a professional.
Get this powerful Guide here!
Need more step-by-step legal and emotional strategies? Download these focused guides:
He's Love-Bombing Me Again After Cheating — Is This Real or a Manipulation Tactic?
Love or Addiction? Understanding Trauma Bonding and Breaking the Cycle
The Narcissist Hoovering You Back In – How to Resist Without Falling Apart
Why Smear Campaigns Work—And How to Disarm Them: Protecting Your Reputation and Your Legal Case
Dealing With Flying Monkeys After a Breakup” — Take Back Your Power
Taking Back Your Financial Independence: Moving On from a Narcissist Relationship
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About Michael Capleone, Attorney at Law
Michael Capleone is a seasoned family law attorney based in Hoover, Alabama, with over 22+ years of experience helping clients navigate complex legal challenges, including divorce, child custody, parental rights, grandparent’s rights, military divorces, petition for protection from abuse, CPS and DHR matters, father’s rights, mother’s rights, relationship advice, pets/ animal custody when a relationship or marriage ends, and general family law matters, co-parenting, dealing with a narcissist, emotional recovery, and much more! As a licensed practicing attorney since 2003, is a dedicated advocate for his clients, Michael understands the emotional and legal complexities of family law cases and works tirelessly to secure favorable outcomes in his law practice.
Whether you’re dealing with high-conflict custody battles, seeking modifications to child support or visitation, or facing difficult divorce proceedings, having problems with a toxic ex, trying to co-parent with a narcissist. Michael Capleone provides expert legal tips and topic specific information with wisdom and clarity. He is committed to ensuring that his clients’ rights are protected, and their voices are heard in the courtroom. These blogs and guides that he is creating are meant to provide simple, straightforward, helpful, and powerful practical information for people all across the United States of America and beyond.
These guides are written in a brief and concise way to get you powerful and useful information that you can easily print off in a reasonable small number of pages. Each guide is a concentrated, no-fluff resource — around 4-5 pages packed with professional insight, legal strategy, and emotional survival tactics. They are designed to cover the real pain points people face in courtrooms and custody fights: defending yourself against false accusations, exposing manipulation without looking petty, protecting your financial future, and keeping your relationship with your children strong in the middle of conflict.
For less than the cost of a single attorney consultation, you get targeted strategies built from over 22+ years of real-world family law experience. These aren’t generic blog articles or cookie-cutter templates. Every guide is designed to give you immediate, actionable steps — the same strategies I teach my own clients — adapted for real people dealing with real, high-stakes problems.
If you're serious about defending your rights, protecting your children, and staying one step ahead of a manipulative ex, these guides aren't just helpful — they're essential. They will save you time, reduce your stress, and help you make smarter moves when everything is on the line.
Winning in court isn’t just about having evidence. It’s about understanding the psychology, the patterns, and the legal strategies that judges actually respond to. These guides put that power in your hands. If you’re ready to stop reacting and start taking control, you’re exactly where you need to be!
For more information on Michael Capleone’s legal services or to schedule a consultation. An experienced Hoover, Alabama family law attorney that guides clients through legal strategy, emotional challenges, relationship problems, legal matters and more to achieve the best positive outcomes. Note: Licensed in the State of Alabama only.
This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Reading this post does not create an attorney-client relationship. Every case is unique—please consult with a qualified family law attorney licensed in your jurisdiction to discuss your specific situation. Also, this blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, financial, psychological, or professional advice. It does not create an attorney-client relationship or any other professional-client relationship. The information provided is not a substitute for consultation with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, tax professional, psychologist, or other expert regarding your specific situation.
