When Your Child Repeats Your Ex’s Lies: How to Respond Without Making It Worse
- Michael Capleone, Sr.
- May 18
- 5 min read
Updated: May 29
It’s one of the hardest moments as a parent: hearing your own child say something cruel — and realizing it’s coming straight from your ex:
“She says you don’t care.” “You’re a liar.”
“I don’t want to see you anymore.”
“You don’t love me.”
“You cheated and broke our family.”
“You’re dangerous. I don’t want to be here.”
These aren’t just hurtful statements—they’re often not your child’s original thoughts. They’re emotional echoes, planted by an alienating parent seeking control. But how you respond in these moments can either escalate the damage or begin the healing.
1. Stay Calm and Grounded Your child may be testing your reaction, or they may be genuinely confused and hurting. The worst thing you can do is become defensive, angry, or lash out. Respond with steady, loving composure: “I’m sorry you feel that way. I love you no matter what.” Children need to see that your love is unconditional and unmoved by the chaos around them. You’re not there to compete. You’re there to be a safe place.
2. Don’t Correct or Criticize the Other Parent Even when the lies are outrageous or clearly false, avoid directly correcting your child in that moment or attacking your ex. Doing so forces the child to choose sides, increasing their emotional confusion and guilt. Instead, say something calm and true: “There’s a lot of emotion between adults, and sometimes kids hear things that aren’t fair. I’ll always be here to talk and tell you the truth.”
3. Validate Their Feelings, Not the Lies If your child says, “You don’t care about me,” it’s tempting to defend yourself. Instead, acknowledge their feelings: “It sounds like you’re feeling hurt. I’m really sorry if something made you feel that way. I care about you very much.” You’re not affirming the falsehood—you’re showing empathy and emotional maturity.
4. Keep Showing Up The most powerful rebuttal to the lies your ex is spreading is consistency. Alienation thrives on disconnection. By showing up—physically, emotionally, and consistently—you challenge the false narrative with your actions. Keep calling. Keep showing up for visits. Be the steady presence your child needs to see.
5. Document and Seek Legal Support When your child repeats lies that sound coached or manipulative, document the conversation. Courts are increasingly aware of parental alienation, and detailed, factual logs can be pivotal. An experienced family law attorney can help you assess your options, from reunification therapy to custody modification. This is not your fault. Alienation is abuse—of both you and your child. But with calm strength, legal clarity, and emotional wisdom, you can begin to untangle the damage and rebuild trust.
Again, Remember here’s How to Respond:
Don’t React Emotionally. Your instinct may be to defend or retaliate. Instead, remain calm and say, “I’m sorry you feel that way. I love you no matter what.”
Avoid Counterattacking Your Ex. Speaking poorly about the other parent only reinforces the child’s inner conflict.
Write It Down. Document each instance. Courts can act when patterns of manipulation are clear and well-documented.
Seek Strategic Legal Advice. If you're in Alabama, you may be eligible to request custody modification, contempt for interference, or reunification therapy.
Your goal isn’t to win a fight — it’s to restore truth and connection.
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About Michael Capleone, Attorney at Law
Michael Capleone is a seasoned family law attorney based in Hoover, Alabama, with over 22+ years of experience helping clients navigate complex legal challenges, including divorce, child custody, parental rights, grandparent’s rights, military divorces, petition for protection from abuse, CPS and DHR matters, father’s rights, mother’s rights, relationship advice, pets/ animal custody when a relationship or marriage ends, and general family law matters, co-parenting, dealing with a narcissist, emotional recovery, and much more! As a licensed practicing attorney since 2003, is a dedicated advocate for his clients, Michael understands the emotional and legal complexities of family law cases and works tirelessly to secure favorable outcomes in his law practice.
Whether you’re dealing with high-conflict custody battles, seeking modifications to child support or visitation, or facing difficult divorce proceedings, having problems with a toxic ex, trying to co-parent with a narcissist. Michael Capleone provides expert legal tips and topic specific information with wisdom and clarity. He is committed to ensuring that his clients’ rights are protected, and their voices are heard in the courtroom. These blogs and guides that he is creating are meant to provide simple, straightforward, helpful, and powerful practical information for people all across the United States of America and beyond.
These guides are written in a brief and concise way to get you powerful and useful information that you can easily print off in a reasonable small number of pages. Each guide is a concentrated, no-fluff resource — around 4-5 pages packed with professional insight, legal strategy, and emotional survival tactics. They are designed to cover the real pain points people face in courtrooms and custody fights: defending yourself against false accusations, exposing manipulation without looking petty, protecting your financial future, and keeping your relationship with your children strong in the middle of conflict.
For less than the cost of a single attorney consultation, you get targeted strategies built from over 22+ years of real-world family law experience. These aren’t generic blog articles or cookie-cutter templates. Every guide is designed to give you immediate, actionable steps — the same strategies I teach my own clients — adapted for real people dealing with real, high-stakes problems.
If you're serious about defending your rights, protecting your children, and staying one step ahead of a manipulative ex, these guides aren't just helpful — they're essential. They will save you time, reduce your stress, and help you make smarter moves when everything is on the line.
Winning in court isn’t just about having evidence. It’s about understanding the psychology, the patterns, and the legal strategies that judges actually respond to. These guides put that power in your hands. If you’re ready to stop reacting and start taking control, you’re exactly where you need to be!
For more information on Michael Capleone’s legal services or to schedule a consultation. An experienced Hoover, Alabama family law attorney that guides clients through legal strategy, emotional challenges, relationship problems, legal matters and more to achieve the best positive outcomes. Note: Licensed in the State of Alabama only.
This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Reading this post does not create an attorney-client relationship. Every case is unique—please consult with a qualified family law attorney licensed in your jurisdiction to discuss your specific situation. Also, this blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, financial, psychological, or professional advice. It does not create an attorney-client relationship or any other professional-client relationship. The information provided is not a substitute for consultation with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, tax professional, psychologist, or other expert regarding your specific situation.
