Top 10 Mistakes People Make When Trying to Co-Parent with a Narcissist
- Michael Capleone, Sr.
- Aug 4
- 5 min read
Co-parenting is hard enough. Co-parenting with a narcissist? It can feel impossible. Narcissists don’t compromise, they don’t co-regulate, and they don’t respect boundaries. If you’re trying to raise healthy children with someone who manipulates, gaslights, and centers every conversation around themselves—you already know the emotional toll. Below are the 10 most common mistakes people make when trying to co-parent with a narcissist—and what to do instead.
1. Expecting the narcissist to change Many people hold onto hope that once the dust settles, their ex will become more reasonable. But narcissists don’t transform under pressure—they often escalate. Accept who they are and plan accordingly.
2. Engaging emotionally in every communication Narcissists crave emotional reactions. If you argue, plead, or defend yourself, you’re giving them control. Instead, use BIFF: Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm responses. Stay detached.
3. Not documenting everything Never rely on verbal agreements. Narcissists are notorious for denial, revisionism, and selective memory. Document all communications via email or a co-parenting app like OurFamilyWizard.
4. Co-parenting instead of parallel parenting True co-parenting requires mutual respect. With a narcissist, it’s often safer to parallel parent—where each parent operates separately with minimal contact. It protects your peace and your child’s stability.
5. Making the child the messenger Never put your child in the middle. Narcissists often use children as pawns, but you must rise above. Keep all communication adult-to-adult, no matter how tempting it is to use the child as a go-between.
6. Over-explaining your decisions You don’t owe a narcissist endless justifications. The more you explain, the more they’ll pick your reasoning apart. Give clear, confident statements. “This is what I believe is best for our child.” Period.
7. Ignoring legal protections If your custody arrangement is vague, a narcissist will exploit every gray area. Seek court orders that are specific and enforceable. Include exact times, dates, and responsibilities.
8. Not having boundaries around your time Narcissists thrive on intrusion—texts at midnight, “urgent” calls during your workday. Set strict availability windows and enforce them. You are not on call 24/7.
9. Believing they care about fairness Fairness only matters to narcissists if it benefits them. Stop seeking justice in every conversation. Focus on what you can control: your child’s well-being and your own emotional peace.
10. Failing to get emotional support You can’t do this alone. Find a therapist, support group, or coach who understands narcissistic abuse. Even just journaling or joining a private online community can help you process and reclaim your strength.
Final Thoughts Co-parenting with a narcissist isn’t about winning. It’s about surviving, protecting your child, and reclaiming your peace. The fewer mistakes you make, the fewer footholds the narcissist has to disrupt your life. You deserve a parenting plan built around your values—not their ego. Explore the full guide on Co-Parenting with a Narcissist now available. Through digital guides and blog content, I empower individuals in high-conflict relationships to reclaim peace, power, and legal confidence.
You're not alone—and you're not powerless. These simple, but informative and powerful guides that are strategic, legal, and provide sharp emotional tools that work. These guides are inexpensive, give you valuable knowledge, and peace of mind in addressing the issue you’re facing at a fraction of what it would cost to receive this same information from an in-person consultation with a professional.
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—Written by Michael L. Capleone, Esq. | Alabama Family Law Attorney | All rights reserved.
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About Michael Capleone, Attorney at Law
Michael Capleone is a seasoned family law attorney based in Hoover, Alabama, with over 22+ years of experience helping clients navigate complex legal challenges, including divorce, child custody, parental rights, grandparent’s rights, military divorces, petition for protection from abuse, CPS and DHR matters, father’s rights, mother’s rights, relationship advice, pets/ animal custody when a relationship or marriage ends, and general family law matters, co-parenting, dealing with a narcissist, emotional recovery, and much more! As a licensed practicing attorney since 2003, is a dedicated advocate for his clients, Michael understands the emotional and legal complexities of family law cases and works tirelessly to secure favorable outcomes in his law practice.
Whether you’re dealing with high-conflict custody battles, seeking modifications to child support or visitation, or facing difficult divorce proceedings, having problems with a toxic ex, trying to co-parent with a narcissist. Michael Capleone provides expert legal tips and topic specific information with wisdom and clarity. He is committed to ensuring that his clients’ rights are protected, and their voices are heard in the courtroom. These blogs and guides that he is creating are meant to provide simple, straightforward, helpful, and powerful practical information for people all across the United States of America and beyond.
These guides are written in a brief and concise way to get you powerful and useful information that you can easily print off in a reasonable small number of pages. Each guide is a concentrated, no-fluff resource — around 4-5 pages packed with professional insight, legal strategy, and emotional survival tactics. They are designed to cover the real pain points people face in courtrooms and custody fights: defending yourself against false accusations, exposing manipulation without looking petty, protecting your financial future, and keeping your relationship with your children strong in the middle of conflict.
For less than the cost of a single attorney consultation, you get targeted strategies built from over 22+ years of real-world family law experience. These aren’t generic blog articles or cookie-cutter templates. Every guide is designed to give you immediate, actionable steps — the same strategies I teach my own clients — adapted for real people dealing with real, high-stakes problems.
If you're serious about defending your rights, protecting your children, and staying one step ahead of a manipulative ex, these guides aren't just helpful — they're essential. They will save you time, reduce your stress, and help you make smarter moves when everything is on the line.
Winning in court isn’t just about having evidence. It’s about understanding the psychology, the patterns, and the legal strategies that judges actually respond to. These guides put that power in your hands. If you’re ready to stop reacting and start taking control, you’re exactly where you need to be!
For more information on Michael Capleone’s legal services or to schedule a consultation. An experienced Hoover, Alabama family law attorney that guides clients through legal strategy, emotional challenges, relationship problems, legal matters and more to achieve the best positive outcomes. Note: Licensed in the State of Alabama only.
This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Reading this post does not create an attorney-client relationship. Every case is unique—please consult with a qualified family law attorney licensed in your jurisdiction to discuss your specific situation. Also, this blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, financial, psychological, or professional advice. It does not create an attorney-client relationship or any other professional-client relationship. The information provided is not a substitute for consultation with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, tax professional, psychologist, or other expert regarding your specific situation.
