5 Signs Your Ex Is Turning Your Child Against You—and What You Can Do About It
- Michael Capleone, Sr.
- 2 days ago
- 6 min read
What Is Parental Alienation—and How Can You Spot It Early?
Parental alienation is a form of psychological manipulation where one parent intentionally damages or severs the child’s relationship with the other parent. It's not always loud or obvious—it often begins with subtle words, facial expressions, or withheld information designed to make the child question your love, your stability, or your character.
While the term isn't always formally recognized by every court, its effects are deeply felt—and can be devastating to both the child and the targeted parent.
Recognizing parental alienation early is key. Watch for the following red flags:
Unexplained Hostility: Your child suddenly becomes distant, disrespectful, or angry toward you without a clear reason.
Echoed Language: The child repeats phrases or accusations that sound like they came directly from the other parent—especially language well beyond their age or experience.
One-Sided Loyalty: Your child defends the alienating parent unconditionally and sees you as the villain, no matter how caring or consistent you’ve been.
Exclusion or Erasure: The child no longer refers to shared memories, avoids contact, or doesn't want your presence at important events.
Fear of Repercussions: Your child seems nervous about expressing love or excitement around you—especially if the other parent is present.
Early intervention matters. The longer alienation continues unchecked, the harder it becomes to repair trust and connection. If you see these signs, begin documenting behaviors and speak with a family law attorney immediately.
Parental alienation is emotional abuse. You don’t have to accept it—and your child doesn’t have to live under it.
If you're beginning to feel like your child sees you as the enemy—but you know you’ve done nothing wrong—you may be the target of parental alienation. When you're dealing with a narcissistic ex, this form of psychological manipulation is a powerful weapon, and unfortunately, it’s often overlooked until major damage is done.
As a family law attorney, I’ve seen how subtle—and devastating—this alienation can be. Here are five major signs to look out for, and what you can do immediately to protect your bond.
1. Your Child Suddenly Avoids You or Shows Unexplained Anger
If your child becomes cold or distant without any real explanation—and especially if this behavior began after custody exchanges—it’s a huge red flag. Children don’t change emotionally overnight without influence.
What to do: Keep a journal. Note specific incidents, changes in mood, and phrases your child uses that sound “adult” or rehearsed.
2. They Repeat Phrases That Sound Like Your Ex
Kids will often parrot accusations or language that they couldn't have come up with on their own—"You’re never there," "You don’t care about me," or worse.
What to do: Stay calm. Don’t react emotionally. Ask follow-up questions gently: “Why do you feel that way?” Then document it.
3. Your Ex Controls All Communication
A narcissist will often intercept calls, block texts, or only allow communication under surveillance. You may find out that you “missed” an event that you were never told about.
What to do: Use court-approved communication apps like OurFamilyWizard to preserve messages and prove manipulation.
4. They Make You “Earn” Their Love
Children under alienation are taught you’re not safe or good—and that love is conditional. If your child suddenly becomes transactional or fearful of showing affection, alienation may be present.
What to do: Continue offering consistent love and presence. Don't buy their affection. Let your reliability speak louder than the lies.
5. Your Relationship Is Being Erased
From removing photos to discouraging discussion about you, narcissistic alienators try to erase you from the child’s life narrative.
What to do: Speak to an attorney about filing a motion to address alienating behavior. Courts can intervene if it’s impacting the child’s well-being.
Final Thought
Parental alienation by a narcissistic co-parent is psychological abuse, plain and simple. You don’t have to tolerate it. Legal remedies are available—and more importantly, you can rebuild what was damaged.
📘 For a full step-by-step strategy to document, protect, and rebuild your relationship, get my detailed guide: “The Narcissist Is Turning My Kid Against Me – What Can I Do?”
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About Michael Capleone, Attorney at Law
Michael Capleone is a seasoned family law attorney based in Hoover, Alabama, with over 22+ years of experience helping clients navigate complex legal challenges, including divorce, child custody, parental rights, grandparent’s rights, military divorces, petition for protection from abuse, CPS and DHR matters, father’s rights, mother’s rights, relationship advice, pets/ animal custody when a relationship or marriage ends, and general family law matters, co-parenting, dealing with a narcissist, emotional recovery, and much more! As a licensed practicing attorney since 2003, is a dedicated advocate for his clients, Michael understands the emotional and legal complexities of family law cases and works tirelessly to secure favorable outcomes in his law practice.
Whether you’re dealing with high-conflict custody battles, seeking modifications to child support or visitation, or facing difficult divorce proceedings, having problems with a toxic ex, trying to co-parent with a narcissist. Michael Capleone provides expert legal tips and topic specific information with wisdom and clarity. He is committed to ensuring that his clients’ rights are protected, and their voices are heard in the courtroom. These blogs and guides that he is creating are meant to provide simple, straightforward, helpful, and powerful practical information for people all across the United States of America and beyond.
These guides are written in a brief and concise way to get you powerful and useful information that you can easily print off in a reasonable small number of pages. Each guide is a concentrated, no-fluff resource — around 4-5 pages packed with professional insight, legal strategy, and emotional survival tactics. They are designed to cover the real pain points people face in courtrooms and custody fights: defending yourself against false accusations, exposing manipulation without looking petty, protecting your financial future, and keeping your relationship with your children strong in the middle of conflict.
For less than the cost of a single attorney consultation, you get targeted strategies built from over 22+ years of real-world family law experience. These aren’t generic blog articles or cookie-cutter templates. Every guide is designed to give you immediate, actionable steps — the same strategies I teach my own clients — adapted for real people dealing with real, high-stakes problems.
If you're serious about defending your rights, protecting your children, and staying one step ahead of a manipulative ex, these guides aren't just helpful — they're essential. They will save you time, reduce your stress, and help you make smarter moves when everything is on the line.
Winning in court isn’t just about having evidence. It’s about understanding the psychology, the patterns, and the legal strategies that judges actually respond to. These guides put that power in your hands. If you’re ready to stop reacting and start taking control, you’re exactly where you need to be!
For more information on Michael Capleone’s legal services or to schedule a consultation. An experienced Hoover, Alabama family law attorney that guides clients through legal strategy, emotional challenges, relationship problems, legal matters and more to achieve the best positive outcomes. Note: Licensed in the State of Alabama only.
This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Reading this post does not create an attorney-client relationship. Every case is unique—please consult with a qualified family law attorney licensed in your jurisdiction to discuss your specific situation. Also, this blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, financial, psychological, or professional advice. It does not create an attorney-client relationship or any other professional-client relationship. The information provided is not a substitute for consultation with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, tax professional, psychologist, or other expert regarding your specific situation.
