Red Flags You’re Dating a Narcissist (After He Cheated and Gaslights You)
- Michael Capleone, Sr.
- 7 days ago
- 5 min read
Introduction
You caught him cheating—and instead of taking responsibility, he twists the narrative to make you feel guilty. That manipulation isn’t just toxic—it’s textbook narcissistic behavior. If you find yourself apologizing, second-guessing your instincts, or staying despite a broken heart, it’s time to recognize the warning signs.
Below are key narcissist red flags that reveal why he’s still holding power over you—and how to break free.
1. Blame-Shifting and Denial
When exposed, a narcissist will never admit wrongdoing. Instead, he’ll:
Deny the affair, calling it a misunderstanding
Accuse you of being overly sensitive or insecure
Claim you are the one causing the chaos
This manipulation is meant to retreat blame and keep you off-balance.
2. Emotional Minimization
You’re upset—understandably. But he dismisses your feelings:
“You’re overreacting.”
“You’re being dramatic.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
Notice how these responses invalidate your pain and protect his ego? Narcissists need emotional control—they can’t handle accountability.
3. Gaslighting Tactics
Classic gaslighting behaviors include:
“You imagined it.”
“Where did you get that idea?”
“You’re confused.”
Make no mistake: these are deliberate attempts to destabilize your reality and keep you confused, dependent, and emotionally captive.
4. Triangulation and Playing the Victim
Watch how he uses outsiders to add pressure:
“My family thinks you’re too dramatic.”
“Everyone says I’m sorry that happened to you.”
“My ex told me people do this when they’re upset.”
Suddenly, the narrative isn't just about you two—it’s supported by "others," weaponizing social influence to isolate you.
5. Love Bombing After Crisis
He cheated, apologized profusely, claims he'll change—and showers you with affection and promises. But this isn’t love coming from genuine remorse; it’s control by reward. Love bombing makes your brain sweat each high, then hurts more during the low.
6. Hyper-Vigilance and Surveillance
After cheating, narcissists often:
Demand access to your texts, emails, and passwords
Insist you log everything you're doing
Accuse you of cheating immediately if you question anything
It’s a toxic form of surveillance wrapped in “trust intimidation.”
7. Emotional and Financial Withholding
Post-cheating, you might notice sudden shifts:
He stops offering emotional support—withdraws
He delays gifts or rationalizes withholding money
He challenges your ability to manage things alone
All of it increases your emotional dependence on him.
8. Deflection and New Accusations
When you speak up, he:
Changes the topic
Brings up your past mistakes
Turns it into a character judgment—making it about "you," never "him"
He’s expertly avoiding accountability while rewriting the narrative.
What to Do Next
If you recognize these behaviors, take these steps:
Document the patterns: Write down statements and incidents.
Set firm boundaries: Say, “I will not discuss this when you blame me.”
Reach out for support: Talk to a therapist, coach, or support group.
Plan your exit strategy: Prepare a safe way to remove yourself from his control.
Conclusion
Cheating hurt—but the real danger lies in the ongoing manipulation that follows. Recognizing red flags in how he reacts now is your first step to reclaiming your power. You don’t deserve confusion. You deserve clarity, respect, and freedom.
You're not alone—and you're not powerless. These simple, but informative and powerful guides that are strategic, legal, and provide sharp emotional tools that work. These guides are inexpensive, give you valuable knowledge, and peace of mind in addressing the issue you’re facing at a fraction of what it would cost to receive this same information from an in-person consultation with a professional.
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About Michael Capleone, Attorney at Law
Michael Capleone is a seasoned family law attorney based in Hoover, Alabama, with over 22+ years of experience helping clients navigate complex legal challenges, including divorce, child custody, parental rights, grandparent’s rights, military divorces, petition for protection from abuse, CPS and DHR matters, father’s rights, mother’s rights, relationship advice, pets/ animal custody when a relationship or marriage ends, and general family law matters, co-parenting, dealing with a narcissist, emotional recovery, and much more! As a licensed practicing attorney since 2003, is a dedicated advocate for his clients, Michael understands the emotional and legal complexities of family law cases and works tirelessly to secure favorable outcomes in his law practice.
Whether you’re dealing with high-conflict custody battles, seeking modifications to child support or visitation, or facing difficult divorce proceedings, having problems with a toxic ex, trying to co-parent with a narcissist. Michael Capleone provides expert legal tips and topic specific information with wisdom and clarity. He is committed to ensuring that his clients’ rights are protected, and their voices are heard in the courtroom. These blogs and guides that he is creating are meant to provide simple, straightforward, helpful, and powerful practical information for people all across the United States of America and beyond.
These guides are written in a brief and concise way to get you powerful and useful information that you can easily print off in a reasonable small number of pages. Each guide is a concentrated, no-fluff resource — around 4-5 pages packed with professional insight, legal strategy, and emotional survival tactics. They are designed to cover the real pain points people face in courtrooms and custody fights: defending yourself against false accusations, exposing manipulation without looking petty, protecting your financial future, and keeping your relationship with your children strong in the middle of conflict.
For less than the cost of a single attorney consultation, you get targeted strategies built from over 22+ years of real-world family law experience. These aren’t generic blog articles or cookie-cutter templates. Every guide is designed to give you immediate, actionable steps — the same strategies I teach my own clients — adapted for real people dealing with real, high-stakes problems.
If you're serious about defending your rights, protecting your children, and staying one step ahead of a manipulative ex, these guides aren't just helpful — they're essential. They will save you time, reduce your stress, and help you make smarter moves when everything is on the line.
Winning in court isn’t just about having evidence. It’s about understanding the psychology, the patterns, and the legal strategies that judges actually respond to. These guides put that power in your hands. If you’re ready to stop reacting and start taking control, you’re exactly where you need to be!
For more information on Michael Capleone’s legal services or to schedule a consultation. An experienced Hoover, Alabama family law attorney that guides clients through legal strategy, emotional challenges, relationship problems, legal matters and more to achieve the best positive outcomes. Note: Licensed in the State of Alabama only.
This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Reading this post does not create an attorney-client relationship. Every case is unique—please consult with a qualified family law attorney licensed in your jurisdiction to discuss your specific situation. Also, this blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, financial, psychological, or professional advice. It does not create an attorney-client relationship or any other professional-client relationship. The information provided is not a substitute for consultation with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, tax professional, psychologist, or other expert regarding your specific situation.
