Christmas, Divorce & A Narcissist: How to Survive the Holidays
- Michael Capleone, Sr.
- Apr 7
- 6 min read
Updated: May 21
The holiday season is supposed to bring warmth, joy, and togetherness. But if you're divorcing a narcissist, Christmas can feel like emotional combat. Instead of peaceful family gatherings, you're navigating manipulation, control games, and high-conflict co-parenting—all while trying to protect your children and your sanity.
As a divorce and family law attorney in Hoover, Alabama, I’ve worked with many clients who face this exact struggle. The good news? You can survive this holiday season—and come out stronger on the other side.
Why Narcissists Are Especially Difficult at Christmas
Narcissists crave attention, control, and admiration. When they’re going through a divorce, especially one they didn't initiate or can't control, the holidays become just another battlefield. They’ll use the festive season to provoke emotional reactions, push boundaries, and undermine your efforts to move on.
Here’s how narcissistic behavior often shows up during the holidays:
Weaponizing visitation schedules to control or punish you.
Sabotaging holiday traditions by being uncooperative or withholding information.
Creating last-minute drama to hijack your emotional well-being.
Using the children as messengers or bargaining chips.
Attempting to play the victim with extended family or on social media.
Key Signs You’re Co-Parenting with a Narcissist at Christmas
1. They demand to change agreed-upon schedules at the last minute—then accuse you of being inflexible.
2. They guilt the children into spending more time with them or turning them against you.
3. They create chaos around pick-up/drop-off logistics to make you look like the “problem parent.”
4. They love-bomb the kids with extravagant gifts to outshine your efforts or buy loyalty.
These are not just inconvenient behaviors—they're manipulative tactics designed to maintain power and erode your confidence.
How to Emotionally and Legally Protect Yourself This Holiday Season
1. Stick to Your Custody Agreement—No Exceptions
Do not deviate from the court-approved custody schedule unless it’s mutually agreed upon in writing. A narcissist may try to guilt-trip or pressure you into verbal changes, then twist your words later. Protect yourself by communicating through text or a co-parenting app like
Our Family Wizard or Talking Parents.
2. Anticipate Manipulation—and Don’t Take the Bait
Narcissists will often provoke you just to get a reaction. Stay calm, don’t engage in emotional battles, and document every incident. If you're forced to interact, keep all communication brief, factual, and emotionally neutral (also known as the BIFF method: Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm).
3. Put the Kids First—Not the Narcissist
Children deserve to enjoy the holidays free from adult conflict. Maintain normalcy, avoid speaking negatively about your ex, and focus on creating meaningful moments. If they return from time with the narcissistic parent feeling confused or hurt, validate their feelings without feeding the drama.
4. Build a Holiday Support System
Whether it’s a trusted therapist, a close friend, or a support group, you need emotional reinforcements. Don’t try to navigate the holidays alone. This is especially critical if you're dealing with emotional or verbal abuse from a narcissistic ex-spouse.
5. Document Everything
Keep a written record of all interactions, visitation changes, and any attempts at manipulation. This is crucial if legal intervention becomes necessary. Courts take well-documented patterns of behavior seriously, especially when they impact the well-being of children.
Why Narcissists Escalate During Divorce
Divorce represents a loss of control to a narcissist, and they will do everything possible to reassert dominance. Holidays are just one tool in their emotional arsenal. If your narcissistic ex feels they are “losing” custody, financial control, or public sympathy, they may lash out with increased hostility.
Understanding this behavior is key. It’s not about you. It’s about their need to feel powerful and in control. Don’t internalize their toxic tactics.
Legal Tips for Divorcing a Narcissist During the Holidays
If you're currently navigating divorce or considering filing, and your spouse exhibits narcissistic traits, here are some additional steps to take:
Work with a family law attorney who understands high-conflict divorces and narcissistic personality dynamics.
Request a detailed parenting plan that leaves little room for manipulation.
Ask the court to approve a communication platform to minimize direct interaction and document everything.
Seek temporary orders if the narcissist is interfering with visitation, refusing to return items, or emotionally abusing the children.
You're not alone—and you're not powerless. Simple, but informative and powerful guides that are strategic, legal, and provide sharp emotional tools that work. These guides are inexpensive, give you valuable knowledge, and peace of mind in addressing the issue you’re facing at a fraction of what it would cost to receive this same information from an in-person consultation with a professional.
Download the Guide Here!
Need more step-by-step legal strategies? Download these focused guides:
Visit the website to explore resources: https://attorneymlc2003.wixsite.com/website.
About Michael Capleone, Attorney at Law
Michael Capleone is a seasoned family law attorney based in Hoover, Alabama, with over 22+ years of experience helping clients navigate complex legal challenges, including divorce, child custody, parental rights, grandparent’s rights, military divorces, petition for protection from abuse, CPS and DHR matters, father’s rights, mother’s rights, relationship advice, pets/ animal custody when a relationship or marriage ends, and general family law matters, co-parenting, dealing with a narcissist, emotional recovery, and much more! As a licensed practicing attorney since 2003, is a dedicated advocate for his clients, Michael understands the emotional and legal complexities of family law cases and works tirelessly to secure favorable outcomes in his law practice.
Whether you’re dealing with high-conflict custody battles, seeking modifications to child support or visitation, or facing difficult divorce proceedings, having problems with a toxic ex, trying to co-parent with a narcissist. Michael Capleone provides expert legal tips and topic specific information with wisdom and clarity. He is committed to ensuring that his clients’ rights are protected, and their voices are heard in the courtroom. These blogs and guides that he is creating are meant to provide simple, straightforward, helpful, and powerful practical information for people all across the United States of America and beyond.
These guides are written in a brief and concise way to get you powerful and useful information that you can easily print off in a reasonable small number of pages. Each guide is a concentrated, no-fluff resource — around 4-5 pages packed with professional insight, legal strategy, and emotional survival tactics. They are designed to cover the real pain points people face in courtrooms and custody fights: defending yourself against false accusations, exposing manipulation without looking petty, protecting your financial future, and keeping your relationship with your children strong in the middle of conflict.
For less than the cost of a single attorney consultation, you get targeted strategies built from over 22+ years of real-world family law experience. These aren’t generic blog articles or cookie-cutter templates. Every guide is designed to give you immediate, actionable steps — the same strategies I teach my own clients — adapted for real people dealing with real, high-stakes problems.
If you're serious about defending your rights, protecting your children, and staying one step ahead of a manipulative ex, these guides aren't just helpful — they're essential. They will save you time, reduce your stress, and help you make smarter moves when everything is on the line.
Winning in court isn’t just about having evidence. It’s about understanding the psychology, the patterns, and the legal strategies that judges actually respond to. These guides put that power in your hands. If you’re ready to stop reacting and start taking control, you’re exactly where you need to be!
For more information on Michael Capleone’s legal services or to schedule a consultation. An experienced Hoover, Alabama family law attorney that guides clients through legal strategy, emotional challenges, relationship problems, legal matters and more to achieve the best positive outcomes. Note: Licensed in the State of Alabama only.
This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Reading this post does not create an attorney-client relationship. Every case is unique—please consult with a qualified family law attorney licensed in your jurisdiction to discuss your specific situation. Also, this blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, financial, psychological, or professional advice. It does not create an attorney-client relationship or any other professional-client relationship. The information provided is not a substitute for consultation with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, tax professional, psychologist, or other expert regarding your specific situation.
