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My Ex Filed a Protection or Restraining Order Out of Spite – Now What?

  • Michael Capleone, Sr.
  • Apr 15
  • 2 min read

Updated: Apr 19

Getting served with a protection or restraining order is gut-wrenching—especially if it was filed by your ex out of spite and not because you were a danger.

This happens more than you think, especially during custody disputes, breakups, or high-conflict divorces. And while it might feel personal—it’s now very legal. You need to act fast.

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What Is a Restraining or Protection Order?

A protection from abuse (PFA) or restraining order is a court order meant to keep someone safe from harassment, abuse, or threats. But some people weaponize these orders to:

  • Get an advantage in custody

  • Force you out of the home

  • Paint you as “dangerous” to others

  • Emotionally manipulate or punish you

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What Happens After It’s Filed?

When your ex files for a protection order, the court may grant a temporary order immediately—without your side of the story.

You may suddenly be:

  • Banned from your home

  • Prohibited from seeing your kids

  • At risk of arrest for minor contact


You must respond quickly to protect your rights. If you do nothing, the court can make the order permanent at a hearing you don’t attend.

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Don’t Panic—Prepare

Even if the allegations are false or exaggerated, take the order seriously. Judges err on the side of caution. That doesn’t mean you’re doomed—it just means you need to show up with evidence and a plan.

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What Can You Do?

  • Don’t contact your ex

  • Follow the temporary order

  • Gather texts, emails, and witnesses

  • Talk to an attorney ASAP


Want a detailed roadmap? I created a nationally applicable guide for men and women wrongly targeted with restraining orders during custody disputes.

Download: “Protection Orders Filed Out of Spite: How to Fight Back and Win” — now available.



Disclaimer: This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Every case is unique. For legal guidance tailored to your situation, please consult an experienced family law attorney licensed in your state.

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